Letter: Coming of Age

A letter to my sons, James and Jude.

My ex-wife is transitioning my son James to girl. For eleven years, I have opposed it in family court. Texas Judge Mary Brown stripped me of my parental rights. She allowed my ex to move my sons to California, so James could be transitioned. Justice Jimmy Blacklock, writing for the Supreme Court of Texas, ruled against my appeal, condemning my son to a life of lies and despair. California Judge Mark Juhas stripped me of all procedural rights to a fair trial. Soon, my son will be sterilized and later castrated.

I cannot visit or call my sons. These letters are breadcrumbs for them. I still love you. I have not forgotten you. I did not abandon you. I am still here for you.

Dear James and Jude,

We likely will not see one another until you are of age. Now, you are both twelve years old. You are entering the age of accountability. More is expected of young men than of boys.

Children simply do as they are told. Young men do as they ought. Merely doing a task is no longer enough. Young men discern what are the right tasks.

Adults go farther still to prudence. This discerns what is the right sequence of tasks, the right course of action, or the right direction of life. That is for when you are older. Let’s stay with your time of life.

How can you determine what are the right tasks? A good first step is to think on the character of young men, their virtues and vices. Learn what the stumbling blocks are. Then you can avoid them.

The Nature of Young Men

Young men's personalities are like a cable. Impulsive emotions pull one way. Reason pulls in the other. Youth seek noble things but act out of passions rather than interests.

Because they lack the hard reality of setbacks, young men are optimistic and hopeful. This hopefulness is imagined as honor rather than service. Recognition and being generally loved are more important than money. This idealism leads young men to think in absolutes in everything. Matters of degree are never to be found. They love or they hate. They play or they pull out. They speak or they leave.

A quick temper is the mark of youth. Their love of honor leads them to quarrel easily and often. This shows that young men are brave. They overestimate their abilities and underestimate the dangers.

The young man is generous. They care less about money than older men. Hope leads them to believe that more is just around the corner, so sharing is easy. This mutual generosity breeds close friendships.

The Rationality of Young Men

Young men have developed reason in all four kinds: imagination, decision, discourse, and demonstration. They can think through matters. Young men have the great advantage of active and unlimited imaginations. The weight of conformity has not stifled their inner life.

I am making a big assumption. Schools are imagination destroyers. Some young men have weak spirits or spirits that are too literal. They have their imaginations molded into foreign shapes. They find their inner life does not match their temperament. Like a carpenter with a misshapen tool, life is hard thereafter.

But you are both spirited. James more so than Jude. Yet Jude is less literal, seeing the depth of things. Seeing into the depths allows you to see more possibilities. Your imagination is the faculty of possibilities. Here are some ways to exercise your imaginative capacities.

• Study geometry. The geometer imagines perfect forms. The forms suggest possibilities. You prove or disprove those possibilities.

• Read widely and diversely. Especially read old and foreign books. The different perspectives also show new possibilities.

• Pretend. Imagine that something is different than it is. What would the world be like? Do lots of pretending.

• Play individual sports. Never underestimate the power of the body to suggest possibilities. You don’t have to be a natural athlete to play a sport. Play Archery, Rifle Marksmanship, Badminton, and the like.

Young men are allowed and expected to make decisions. You are old enough to judge some matters. Only some matters, those that can be known by verisimilitude. Here are some good ways to improve your decision making.

• Play team sports. Team sports require both planned and impromptu decisions under pressure. A good coach will show you how to do it. You need not be a superman. Play volleyball, Ultimate Frisbee, Flag Football, Badminton Doubles, Rowing.

• Read deliberative works. Many books present an author trying to come to a decision. You can find great speeches that do the same. Read things like: The Persian Expedition by Xenophon, Cicero’s 3rd Cataline invective, Edmund Burke’s Reflections on the Revolution in France, the Federalist Papers, and the Anti-federalist Papers. You can find others.

• Pretend. Imagine yourself commanding Napoleon’s army at Austerlitz. What would you do? Put yourself in other situations and see how you fare.

Talking to others is a kind of reasoning. You can appreciate different opinions. More importantly, you can discern the different worldview and character that gives rise to those opinions.

• Discuss with your friends. Judge the quality of movies and stories and even people. Talk about school lessons and school events.

• Notice character. Do not just ask, “Why does he believe (or do) that?” Ask instead, “What kind of person would want to believe (or do) that?” This will give you insights for a lifetime.

• Be persuasive. Notice what convinces people and what does not.

I hope this advice helps you, my sons. I miss you. I think on our future, far away, when we will shake hands as men.

With love,

Jeff Younger

Your father